Idolly Speaking...

Some life moments are hard to forget. They get etched in your mind's eye, become one with your visions and dreams. One of several such was associated with when my dad first decided to become an actor. Well, to me, he always knew he would, someday. He just decided to announce it to us that one day when he had made up his mind to enroll in an acting class. I looked up from my book, then a teenager, with the most stoic, indifferent look a teenager could give. This was probably another one of his sudden inspirations, I thought. Maybe it'll stick, maybe it'll fade. Time will tell. But what followed in the next few years changed my whole perspective in life.

To me, my dad had always been an entertainer since I was a little kid and I quite enjoyed him performing for our family and friends. He was always up to something new and often meandered away from his original plans to find something even more captivating to do. Although he was a true show man at heart, never had I seriously considered that behind his cheerful demeanor lies a fierce ambition to shine.

He never came across as serious or strong willed but when you stopped and observed everything that he did, you'd realize that he is one of the most cheerful rebels you've ever seen, very much unlike my mother. My mother called a spade a spade even if it meant eternal animosity with close ones. To her, her voice and her truth rose above trivial needs of tradition to adhere to familial roles of submission by a woman. I admire her for her fierceness and strong will and thank her for instilling a sense of self worth and independence in me. Contrastingly, my dad passed on to me all the qualities complimentary to my mom's. He too, like her, would call a spade a spade, but not to it's face. In his heart he knew the truth, but right there and then he felt no desperate need to shout it out from the rooftops. He would rather spend his time in humor than in truth. For him life's humor was in fact life's biggest truth. He would laugh with you, laugh at himself in front of you and in general make sure that you have a jolly good time. And every time a person crackled with laughter I saw his face light up with satisfaction. Their laughing eyes reflected his uniqueness to him and THAT was the real reason he entertained us all. Not for the praise, not for the fame but to catch a glimpse of his exuberance reflected right back to him.

I once asked him genuinely, "Dad, do you really love acting all that much?" And just as always, he very simplistically responded, "Not really. I just wanted to see if I could stand out in whatever I do and this seemed to be the perfect ground for that and honestly, nothing else interested me as much." Frankly, at that point, this was an anticlimactic response and I was a little dejected by that. I'd expected an answer about passion and dreams, about wanting to be the best actor in the whole world, etc. Instead what I got was the truth. And how simple it was! No pretensions, no drama and yet refreshingly normal. There was more than just humor to him that had inspired me. It was lucidity. Clarity of thought followed by precise action. The more I recounted events the more I remembered how clear and simple all his actions had been. He never had motives, agendas and thoughts other than simple plans based on focused desires. 'He came, he saw, he conquered' had suddenly acquired new meaning in my eyes.

Dad has always loved to meet people, sometimes to the extent of inviting (mildly) suspicious characters home for tea just because they responded well to his jokes or that he felt like helping them someway. Over the years, mom has learnt to overcome her panic about such situations, lower her BP and in general train her energies to visualizing positive outcomes for such scenarios. For the most part, his class encounters led to some life long admirers, some helpful opportunities, some genuinely good people and some good friends, barring only a couple not so pleasant ones. But overall his gregarious and over helpful attitude has only brought us (my mother and I) out of our shells and shown us how great it can be to overcome basic barriers of suspecting every person in the world and learning how to trust.  One time during a city wide transport strike due to gas prices being hiked up, dad drove around our streets asking people if they needed to be dropped off back home. Some were overjoyed to see this strange good Samaritan patrolling the streets, some agreed to his offer, although a bit unsure of what they were getting themselves into and some just looked the other way. For those who welcomed his kindness, it was a two way street. Their welcoming his offer brought them both joy, made for a wonderful journey back home and resulted in awakening a warmth inside them all, the kind that is usually locked away deep down in our hearts.

While growing up I would often see him anxious that he needed to find the perfect role model for me, someone to look up to, someone who I would emulate and follow. What I often wondered is why he never considered himself the right candidate though. How could he be a role model for me, he said with utter surprise. "I never follow any rules that I don't understand. I've no sense of planning for the future, I've been constantly shifting careers and I never obey, not even my parents, when they tell me that it's stupid to get into the field of acting. I cant possibly be who you look up to!"  He's right!, I thought. After all, he always breaks rules when they make no sense, never follows mindless traditions, always speaks his mind, loves to make people laugh, believes in living in the moment, is genuinely blissful despite his surroundings, ignores discouragement, even from parents to follow his dreams and last but not the least, is a genuinely great human being. Now pray tell me, why would someone like that ever be considered a role model! That is the most preposterous idea I've ever heard! ;)