30 Days of 30 pieces - Day 2 of 30

Today's post is going to be a short one, I think. It's been a rather long day and I am actually ready to go to bed at 8:50PM, that's right! Welcome to grandma land! 😆

I think it's just a case of waking up early and not getting enough rest. Talking about waking up early, I've been dabbling with the idea of joining the 5 AM club. The thought first came through a podcast I was listening to by Robin Sharma. Sid loves this guy and I too enjoy a lot of his podcasts. So about 3 months back Sid and I thought of taking at least one of his guidance principles seriously and joining the 5AM club. After all thats what all successful people do, right ;). Well, easier said than done. The first day we managed 5:45, and that too after a loooooooooottttt of struggle and self talk. The second day was better and after a couple days we could manage 5:15-5:20 pretty easily. The 5 o'clock mark, however, was insanely hard to hit! There were days when I'd get stressed about not waking up on time and therefore end up waking up at 3. Then go back to sleep and because I'd woken up, I'd end up sleeping beyond 5. Finally after a few weeks I finally managed to wake up at 5, on the dot. I got up, sat in my bed, smiled to my self and a felt a sense of immense achievement. Then as soon as the feeling of achievement had sunk in, as a celebration I went back to sleep just to catch a few extra winks. Needless to say, I snored on for the next 2 hours and ended up being late for work.

With that kind of a reputation, I'd given up on the idea of the 5 AM club until this morning, when I heard another podcast where the host spoke in all seriousness about the importance of waking up at 5 and how to be disciplined in life and yadayadayada. So after being re-inspired I've decided to give it a go. I will try this tonight and wake up bright and shiny tomorrow morning, ready to start my day with an awesome blog writing experience, squeeze in some exercise and yoga, make fresh breakfast and enjoy a steaming cuppa joe before heading out to conquer the world.
On that bright and positive note I am going to wrap up this article, because like I said, I need to go to bed early if I'm to achieve my dream of being in the 5AM club. And for that to happen I have to stop typing. So see ya'll tomorrow morning. Sweet dreams and Buenos noches!💤🌜

30 Days of 30 Pieces - Day 1 of 30

Day 1 of 30

So to begin with my first article for the day I'd like to write about a children's book that inspired me when I was 6. It talked about 'What do you want to be' and had illustrations of all the fun activities and professions that a child could dream of becoming. I loved it so much because it made me believe that I had abundance of choice to become who I want. Imagine the rude awakening when I had to pick a major in high school. That did NOT go down well with me. But since I was way too cool for school (or so I thought) I picked engineering, the analytical field where great minds create wonderful contraptions for the world to use and be in awe of. Yes, that is exactly how I viewed electrical engineering.

So while I went on to learn the amazing technology and interesting concepts of engineering, which I thoroughly enjoyed by the way, I soon figured out that eventually after all the fun education and on the job training every one finally ends up doing exactly the same thing. By getting stuck in the rut to win more projects, churn out more results in as short a time as possible. Its the same pattern repeating everywhere. The charm and wonder of executing a project using new technology is not the main focus of doing projects, the focus is the commerce of it all. And while some may agree with that approach, that it all SHOULD boil down to money, I don't. Not because I'm idealistic (far from it). Simply because its so much more fun!! And that must mean something. There is a reason why we enjoy certain activities and the joy it gives us makes us do more and get better at it. Nature uses this tactic very well to propagate species by making procreation super fun, creates bonds between members of a species by making helping others more gratifying and fulfilling. So most definitely working towards something that creates joy and fulfillment is a journey forward.

The more I see organizations that the world is in awe of, the more a common pattern emerges. These organizations are financially successful as a result of their creativity and not the other way around. They take total joy in creating and as a result they have been successful in securing the trust and confidence of their audience and their investors, who only want to add to their momentum of success, thus also making them financially stable. Their financial success is a by product of their creative genius which is kinda awesome.

SO having said that, if given a second chance today, what would I like to do? Honestly there are so many things that come to mind that nothing really stands out. So instead of staying confused, like always, I'm going to start listing out anything that I can even slightly do and enjoy as of today. I may be a total amateur and a complete beginner but if I love doing it even for an hour I'm going to put it down in my list. Here goes:

1. Movie director - would love to direct psychological thrillers or even offbeat, with a twist kind of movies. Or just plain comedies. They are completely disconnected genres but that in itself would be an amazing experience.

2. Write and publish a blog - I know I can write fairly decent material. Would be fun to see if it could lead to getting subscribers and growing into a good sized business

3. Travel blogger/ location scout - Although these require different skill sets, the common factor here is travel and possibly going where no one has been before. Would love to do the former than the latter.

4. Travel show host/writer/director/producer/coordinator - Same reasons as above and in fact even more fun coz now I'd get to be the techie geek when indulging in all the cool equipment :)

5. Digital nomad - working jobs in different locations through websites like workaway.com etc. This would be a rather cool experience as it would let me interact with so many different cultures and kinds of people. Just the thought of it brings a smile to my face.

6. Teach using innovative styles and methods to curious, bright young or old minds - I'd love to teach anything that I know and could be helpful to others. Teaching is the best form of learning and I LOVE to learn. I'm very intrigued by new ways of education which encourages kids to discover ideas and concepts rather being told by a teacher and then everyone in class engages in healthy discussions, presenting ideas and the 'teacher' is merely a facilitator, gently nudging the students along and allowing them to discover or uncover jewels of wisdom for themselves.

7. Growing a business from scratch all the way to super successful - Don't know which business but the pure experience of doing this and the journey is going to be awesome and in some weird way I even can sense and know the feeling. For the record, I've never started a business....yet! :)

These are the 7 that I can think of for now. I'm sure there are way more than this and I might revisit and add more to this list later. Until then, I'm sticking to this list. And with that my first article for Day 1 of my 30 days of 30 pieces... comes to an end. I shall see you again tomorrow, bright and fresh, ready to churn out more words. Until then it's Adios and Hasta Luego, Amigos.

30 Days of 30 Pieces of Fun Writing

I'm going to start rather abruptly here. This, from here on, is my fun creative project for the next 30 days. I call it the '30 days of 30 pieces of fun writing'. It recently dawned upon me that I've been angrily proclaiming my 'creativity' for a while now, without really any outputs from me to back up that claim, which kind of misses the point of the angry outbursts. So to support my claim and to make this all fun and not an agenda, I'm taking on this activity to write at least 1 piece of article/poem/blog piece/journaling, whatever the hell you want to call it, every day. Yes, Every. Single. Day. for the next 30 days. Now I know that it's going to be a challenge to pen down something ever single day, even on days when I'm lazy, exhausted, overwhelmed, in crazy-mood-swings mode, or just plain bored. However, that is exactly why I need this, to test if I REALLY crave that creative outflow regularly and if it is truly going to be a part of my daily life.

Ok, so now that I wrote about WHY I'm doing this, let's talk about what do I want to write about. Hmmm. Honestly, I don't know. It might be spontaneous one day and suddenly might have structure for the next few days. It might be an organized form of journaling and possibly even the most interesting conversations from the depths of my subconscious OR the best case scenario could be just pointless, senseless rambling! I call that the best case scenario because senseless rambling would be a true 'offloading' of the clutter in my head and would indeed allow me to vent out this 'burden' of creativity, Finally!

With that I end my ramblings and shall see you soon in my very first post coming up soon! Check out the blog for this and many such posts in the coming 30 days! See ya until then.

One at a time

One breath at a time, one step at a time,
one bite to savor, one whiff of flavor,
one note to play, one wish to pray,
one silly face to smile, one indulgence in a while,
one stroke to paint, one drop of rain,
one skill to hone, one soul to call your own,
one by one they grow; the moments, the senses, the souls,
until finally you can feel, your broken spirit heal,
your carefully built space, slowly filling your embrace,
everywhere around you now, a collection of the moments of love,
deeply fulfilling and blissfully true, it's merely a reflection of you.

Some More

‘I dreamt of the more

It made my heart soar’

but nobody believed a word I said

It’s a myth, just a lore

doesn’t exist anymore

they said to me all the time

There is nothing beyond the shore

Don’t waste time, no more

was their well intentioned advice 

Their words, I ignore

which causes an uproar 

my boldness creates a shock wave

Not knowing whats in store

I feel it in my core

the deep rooted excitement

As I step out to explore

My spirits, they soar

when I catch the glimpse of a new horizon

Now I dream of the more

while opening the door

to newness and possibilities

What I am learning about learning.

Since my husband started his business, I've been doing a lot of research these days about launching and marketing a new business. Internet articles, blog posts and books from marketing gurus, online self-help videos, you name it and there's a good chance that I've heard of it. While a lot of this material was insightful and definitely inspirational, it sometimes gave me a sense of trying to play catch up with the rest. It felt like a whole bunch of people have figured it all out and are living brilliantly successful lives while I'm still groping at all sorts of information thrown at me. When things attained a new overwhelming pitch I finally decided to step back and take a long deep breath. To bring me some clarity I decided to put pen to paper and started jotting down everything that came to mind. Finally, after pages and pages of rambling on which was a mix of some insights, an ounce of complaining and random thoughts of inspiration, I was done venting. As the fog cleared and my mind started calming down, I began reading what I'd written and was quite surprised to see some useful bits of information shining through all that clutter of words. So I decided to actually make a blog post out of it and send it into cyber space hoping that it'll find its rightful reader.  

1. Do a little bit more than yesterday.

 This is actually quite simple to do. We sometimes get sucked into a rut and forget to check in with ourselves every once in a while. Often life becomes about living for the weekend and this thought can help you shake out of that habit. Whatever your current aim is just check in with yourself on a daily basis to see if you did a little bit more than yesterday (If you don't have an aim then make one, to begin with). You could do more each day in terms of quantity or quality, depending on what the task is, but just being aware about how much has been done in comparison to yesterday can be a good motivator. In my case, I have had the aim to be more organized. So I started doing one extra chore each day that I hadn't done on the day before. Tasks like cleaning one extra counter top, organizing one extra shelf space or de-cluttering one extra corner of the house helped me get more into the habit of being organized and helped me get over my lazy attitude. The best part is that it works for almost anything. Do that one extra pushup today, run an extra block today, finish that one extra page for the report today. Pushing yourself to do just one bit more often gets you into the habit of being efficient much faster and over just a few weeks you realize that you've achieved a whole lot more than you would have otherwise. Setting an unreasonable goal for yourself and trying to power through all that mental resistance can only get you so far. It's not a long term solution.

2. Give credit to your habitual patterns regardless of how annoying they are.

Our habits and reactions are sources of vast information about ourselves, if only we could recognize them that way. We often pay very little attention to our own habits, especially if they are not something to be proud of. Nobody wants to recognize their 'bad' habits at the fear of being ridiculed, criticized or even ostracized but we forget that our habitual reactions to situations and people often come from a much deep rooted belief or insecurity. If only we gave our habits the respect they deserve and listen to what they've been trying to tell us, we would end up learning so much more about ourselves. Instead of labeling habits as good or bad, if we just observe them objectively as general characteristics we would be able to really start looking at them without feeling angry, guilty or disgusted. I'm still working on mine and far from making radical changes but this approach has definitely let me loosen up much more which, to me, is an achievement in itself. 

3. Every experience can be treated as a test case scenario.

We are doing that everyday, that's how we learn to adapt and react to the environment. What I'm talking about is applying this approach to situations involving negative emotions. I'm not asking you to be stoic or emotion less but if you treat each incident as a test case of action and reaction then every reaction you get is just a feedback. The whole observation becomes analytical and loses most of its emotional drama. That leaves you calmer and much more focused on getting the end results.

4. Develop the quality of being thirsty for knowledge.

This is a rather important point if you plan to enjoy a satisfied life. Notice how I said satisfied, not rich, not famous but satisfied. Gaining knowledge can be the most satisfying thing if done the right way. Be curious, ask questions and prod into the details. It might make u a nerd but it sure is an immensely satisfying process once you start viewing things around you with a childlike wonder. We get so stuck with a knowledge base that is of advantage to us in order to grow rich/be successful/climb the ladder that we forget being a connoisseur of knowledge. Yes, a connoisseur, that’s what I’d like to call it. Knowledge, even technical, can be treated like art. You can absorb it, linger on it and appreciate thoroughly to get the feeling of complete satisfaction. I’m an electrical engineer by profession, but recently because of taking up this business endeavor along with my husband, I started reading up on how to build a website. At first it was cumbersome, I was frustrated that we need to put in so much work just to get our website up and running. And that’s barely getting to the starting point of any business.  That kind of attitude got me unwanted stress, constant arguments and a whole bunch of distracting thoughts that were slowing my progress even more. So one day after a long chat with my husband I decided to grow up, deal with my current situation and mend my attitude. That’s right. I changed the way I looked at this whole situation. Here I was an engineer, who for the first time was getting to build an actual professional website and getting to learn so many cool features in the process. Why then was I whining about this? I realized that life was forcing me to look into developing a skillset which otherwise would have gone unnoticed. When I truly learnt to appreciate the knowledge that I was gaining, the tasks became fun and I genuinely started looking out for ways to better the end result. Eventually when the site went live, the satisfaction to me has been at par with getting a raise at a salaried job.

Idolly Speaking...

Some life moments are hard to forget. They get etched in your mind's eye, become one with your visions and dreams. One of several such was associated with when my dad first decided to become an actor. Well, to me, he always knew he would, someday. He just decided to announce it to us that one day when he had made up his mind to enroll in an acting class. I looked up from my book, then a teenager, with the most stoic, indifferent look a teenager could give. This was probably another one of his sudden inspirations, I thought. Maybe it'll stick, maybe it'll fade. Time will tell. But what followed in the next few years changed my whole perspective in life.

To me, my dad had always been an entertainer since I was a little kid and I quite enjoyed him performing for our family and friends. He was always up to something new and often meandered away from his original plans to find something even more captivating to do. Although he was a true show man at heart, never had I seriously considered that behind his cheerful demeanor lies a fierce ambition to shine.

He never came across as serious or strong willed but when you stopped and observed everything that he did, you'd realize that he is one of the most cheerful rebels you've ever seen, very much unlike my mother. My mother called a spade a spade even if it meant eternal animosity with close ones. To her, her voice and her truth rose above trivial needs of tradition to adhere to familial roles of submission by a woman. I admire her for her fierceness and strong will and thank her for instilling a sense of self worth and independence in me. Contrastingly, my dad passed on to me all the qualities complimentary to my mom's. He too, like her, would call a spade a spade, but not to it's face. In his heart he knew the truth, but right there and then he felt no desperate need to shout it out from the rooftops. He would rather spend his time in humor than in truth. For him life's humor was in fact life's biggest truth. He would laugh with you, laugh at himself in front of you and in general make sure that you have a jolly good time. And every time a person crackled with laughter I saw his face light up with satisfaction. Their laughing eyes reflected his uniqueness to him and THAT was the real reason he entertained us all. Not for the praise, not for the fame but to catch a glimpse of his exuberance reflected right back to him.

I once asked him genuinely, "Dad, do you really love acting all that much?" And just as always, he very simplistically responded, "Not really. I just wanted to see if I could stand out in whatever I do and this seemed to be the perfect ground for that and honestly, nothing else interested me as much." Frankly, at that point, this was an anticlimactic response and I was a little dejected by that. I'd expected an answer about passion and dreams, about wanting to be the best actor in the whole world, etc. Instead what I got was the truth. And how simple it was! No pretensions, no drama and yet refreshingly normal. There was more than just humor to him that had inspired me. It was lucidity. Clarity of thought followed by precise action. The more I recounted events the more I remembered how clear and simple all his actions had been. He never had motives, agendas and thoughts other than simple plans based on focused desires. 'He came, he saw, he conquered' had suddenly acquired new meaning in my eyes.

Dad has always loved to meet people, sometimes to the extent of inviting (mildly) suspicious characters home for tea just because they responded well to his jokes or that he felt like helping them someway. Over the years, mom has learnt to overcome her panic about such situations, lower her BP and in general train her energies to visualizing positive outcomes for such scenarios. For the most part, his class encounters led to some life long admirers, some helpful opportunities, some genuinely good people and some good friends, barring only a couple not so pleasant ones. But overall his gregarious and over helpful attitude has only brought us (my mother and I) out of our shells and shown us how great it can be to overcome basic barriers of suspecting every person in the world and learning how to trust.  One time during a city wide transport strike due to gas prices being hiked up, dad drove around our streets asking people if they needed to be dropped off back home. Some were overjoyed to see this strange good Samaritan patrolling the streets, some agreed to his offer, although a bit unsure of what they were getting themselves into and some just looked the other way. For those who welcomed his kindness, it was a two way street. Their welcoming his offer brought them both joy, made for a wonderful journey back home and resulted in awakening a warmth inside them all, the kind that is usually locked away deep down in our hearts.

While growing up I would often see him anxious that he needed to find the perfect role model for me, someone to look up to, someone who I would emulate and follow. What I often wondered is why he never considered himself the right candidate though. How could he be a role model for me, he said with utter surprise. "I never follow any rules that I don't understand. I've no sense of planning for the future, I've been constantly shifting careers and I never obey, not even my parents, when they tell me that it's stupid to get into the field of acting. I cant possibly be who you look up to!"  He's right!, I thought. After all, he always breaks rules when they make no sense, never follows mindless traditions, always speaks his mind, loves to make people laugh, believes in living in the moment, is genuinely blissful despite his surroundings, ignores discouragement, even from parents to follow his dreams and last but not the least, is a genuinely great human being. Now pray tell me, why would someone like that ever be considered a role model! That is the most preposterous idea I've ever heard! ;)

Reasoning with Insecurities

Sometimes people are almost uncomfortable with compliments. Contrary to popular beliefs, its much easier to take criticism than genuine appreciation. Accepting another person's heartfelt compliments can  sometimes be embarrassing, almost making one feel guilty or even unworthy of them, in extreme cases.

Now you may argue saying that what about those who love praises, false or not. What about those who would do anything to get a pat on their backs. You see, they are the most guilt ridden individuals. On the surface they appear to be chasing appreciation, but the very fundamental reason they do it is cause they feel unworthy of giving themselves that appreciation. So much so that they are willing to let go of their self esteem and lower them selves in every way to get someone else's so called "appreciation". That very act is a solid proof of their insecurity.

Now you might point to those who like themselves surrounded with sycophants or "chelaas" as we say in Hindi. I believe somewhere deep down in their subconscious they are so convinced about their worthlessness that they are willing to take anything, even slightly resembling a compliment, thrown their way to boost their self esteem or lack thereof. This, again, points to their super guilt driven insecure interior masked by an overconfident/ almost arrogant exterior.  

These might sound like extreme cases, but we all have these insecurities, in varying degrees of intensity. Notice that the very core reasoning to any insecurity always ends up being some belief that we've been taught to believe. 

Now why are we so insecure, you may ask? Frankly, I don't know that either. It doesn't make any logical sense to me. But one thing I've realized over time is that we don't genuinely evolve until we can accept appreciation as well as we take criticism, while maintaining our dignity and peace of mind.